17 Months!

by Nadine on November 24, 2016

Reading in the hamper.

Life with a 17-month-old is fun.

It’s messy.

It’s a special kind of exhausting.

It’s waking up at 4:00 a.m. to the cries of “Mommy” followed by “elbow” because she learned a new word.

It’s waiting for more teeth to (finally) show up. And doling out the Motrin in the meantime.

It’s singing “Skinnamarink” over and over to a child sitting on the potty. (Fun fact: While the song is mostly associated with Sharon, Lois and Bram, it actually originated on Broadway in 1910.)

It’s stirring oatmeal with a kid on your hip because she wants to see the “bubbles.”

It’s simultaneously praising and scolding your child for twisting the lid off the baking powder container — and scrubbing the floor with it.

It’s finding one shoe in her room and the other in your closet.

It’s asking for help with the laundry then watching your kid pretend to take a nap in the pile of dirty clothes.

It’s catching your falling child after she spins herself in circles until she’s dizzy. And then she does it again. And again.

It’s clinking your coffee cup against her sippy cup throughout the entire meal. Because sometimes she won’t drink without “cheers.”

It’s taking her to the library and then trying to convince her that novels are above her reading level.

It’s stopping six times on a 15-minute walk to put her mittens back on.

It’s using hand-washing as an incentive. Because hand soap is fun.

It’s saying “baa-baa” instead of “sheep.” Because your brain is mush.

It’s wondering where she found the Cheerio she’s chewing on.

It’s discovering you’ve been putting your kid in shoes two sizes too small.

It’s scrambling eggs. All the eggs.

It’s pretending that three different kinds of crackers make a balanced snack.

It’s getting tackled by a hug from behind when you’re cleaning up those cracker crumbs.

It’s having no escape. She can open the bathroom door.

It’s forgetting when you last cleaned the bathroom.

It’s losing your phone, only to find it “disabled” on a shelf in another room.

It’s finding a sippy cup on your bedside table. You did not put it there.

It’s tossing a beach ball at your kid’s face just for a laugh.

It’s teaching your kid to sweep, then watching in horror as she eats crumbs out of the dust pan.

It’s tiptoeing around the house during naptime, hoping she’ll stay asleep longer than yesterday.

It’s planning your (limited) social life around a sleep schedule.

It’s singing “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider” in public.

It’s chasing your runaway kid at the market.

It’s sharing your only cookie.

It’s trying to keep your kid awake in the stroller so she’ll sleep at home.

It’s counting on a nap that doesn’t happen.

It’s forgetting the last time you slept through the night. (It was probably in 2014.)

It’s giving her all the stickers.

It’s watching her tear up her art project because she wants the stickers back.

It’s getting kissed by a little face covered in yogurt. Because you just can’t say no.

It’s a little gross.

But it’s mostly wonderful.

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Well. This week happened.

(I tried to write a sentence here, but it turned into a meandering rant about hate and love and fear and ‘What-the-heck, America?’ My heart hurts.)

Two highlights:

1. We took Ursula to the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair and she got to meet real live baa-baas and moos!

2. We watched The Crown on Netflix. And drank all the Lagavulin.

You gotta make the best of it, right?

Here’s some fun Crown-related reading:

Inside Netflix’s $130 million “The Crown,” the most expensive TV series ever. (The Daily Beast)

Fug the Show: The Crown recaps. These are full of fascinating tidbits and links. And are hilarious. Here’s episode one. And two. (Go Fug Yourself)

Surgeons replace actors in The Crown’s King George VI operation scene. No wonder this show was expensive! (AOL)

How to visit the stunning film locations from Netflix’s The Crown. (Visit Britain)

Other stuff on the Internet:

Hermès’s First Female Perfumer Talks About Breaking Into the Male-Dominated Fragrance World. (NY Mag)

‘Going Flat’ After Breast Cancer. (New York Times)

The White Shirt: An Obsessive, Comprehensive Guide. (Wall Street Journal)

It’s Okay to Never Wash Your Coffee Cup. You can stop feeling guilty now. (NY Mag)

 

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Words, words, words. (Name that Shakespearean play.)

What Beyoncé taught me. Dance lessons for writers. (The Guardian)

Adele, Queen of Hearts. I want to be her best friend. (Vanity Fair)

Michelle Obama’s Most Memorable Gowns. I’m going to miss her. (Go Fug Yourself)

A Lesson in Royal Etiquette: 7 Things to Know Before You Meet the Queen. She needs presents! (Vogue)

Um, also at Vogue: A Trip to Canada’s Prairies—Vaguely Exotic, Totally Obscure, and an Absolute Must-Visit Destination.

Want to Work in 18 Miles of Books? First, the Quiz. (NY Times)

Are We Sure It’s Good? A Close Reading of Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Romeo + Juliet’. I should probably rewatch it. (The Ringer)

25th anniversary of Jessie Spano’s infamous caffeine pill meltdown on ‘Saved by the Bell’. I’m so excited! I’m so scared! (NY Daily News)

 

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The Ladybug

by Nadine on October 30, 2016

Four things:

1. Our sartorially opinionated child very much approves of her Halloween costume.

2. She probably thinks it’s a real outfit. For wearing whenever. Which is fine by me.

3. Actually, I wish I could get away with wearing a glorified pillow in public.

4. She is holding the remote for a DVD player we no longer own. She thinks it’s her cell phone. Which is also fine by me.

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Rainy Halloween: Missing Sharon (and Bram)

by Nadine on October 30, 2016

Today’s plan was to see Sharon and Bram perform at an outdoor Halloween festival not far from our neighbourhood.*

But it was rainy and cold. And my toddler doesn’t exactly know who Sharon or Bram are. Nor does she miss Lois. (She does, however, REALLY love “This Little Piggy” and “Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” So she respects their repertoire.)

We ended up going to our (warm and dry) church with our little ladybug instead. (I’ll post a pic here soon.)

Sharon was always my favourite. Maybe because she was a brunette and therefore reminded me more of my mom. Maybe because she had better style. Or maybe just because it’s essential to pick a favourite. (Admit it. You had a favourite Ninja Turtle, Care Bear, and Today’s Special character, right? It’s one of the rules of being a kid. You must CHOOSE THE BEST ONE.)

So maybe next year we’ll give it another go. And maybe next year, I’ll dress up, too. (And get a perm.)

The big costume question: Sharon on the farm?

Sources: Jeans; Chelsea Boots; Plaid Top

Or Sharon on stage?

Sources: Wig; Pleated Silk Skirt; Stripe Sequin Skirt; Top

P.S. Colourful skirts do not come cheap. (On the left: Chloé: $3,395. On the right: J.Crew Collection: $1,194.) Anyone wanna lend me all their money? I promise to wear the J.Crew one at least 30 times.

P.P.S. This costume needs an elephant.

*Fun fact: My first concert was to see Sharon, Lois and Bram. I was hoping Ursula would share that little life trivia with me. I guess we’ll just have to see them the next time they’re in town. (Come back, okay?)

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Still reading the Internet. It’s big!

[Photo: Atlas Obscura]

Inside the New York Public Library’s Last, Secret Apartments. I want to live in one. (Atlas Obscura)

The 70 Greatest Conspiracy Theories in Pop-Culture History. Avril Lavigne died in 2003?! Stevie Wonder isn’t blind?! J.K. Rowling is just an actress PRETENDING TO BE AN AUTHOR?! This article is a trip and a half. (Vulture)

Patton Oswalt: ‘I’ll Never Be at 100 Percent Again’. *sniffles* (The New York Times)

Museu de la Tècnica. Summary: A guy stumbles upon a typewriter museum, totally geeks out. (Twitter)

Patagonia’s On-Site Child Care Program Is Basically Eden for Children—and Their Parents. Patagonia is awesome. Again. (Slate)

How to Make Your Last Name Plural This Christmas Season. Stop with the apostrophes already! (Slate)

(You already know this grammar rule, right?)

I waited 96 years. These women were born before women could vote. Guess who they’re voting for.

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Weekend Reading Vol. 3: Perms Are Back!!!!

by Nadine on October 23, 2016

Just reading my way through the Internet, as per usual.

Once upon a time, I brought the photo on the left to a hair salon. Now I want to bring the photo on the right. Mandy Moore = hair goals. (I will always miss my high-school perm. Always.)

So, obviously, this article made me so very, very happy: Reconsider the Perm. (Racked)

Presidential nominees have friends, too: Debate-Watching With Hillary Clinton’s BFFs. (New York Times)

I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about this: Meet Amybeth McNulty, star of new Anne of Green Gables series for CBC, Netflix. (CBC)

New bucket-list item: In Rome, Using “Roman Holiday” as a Guide. (New York Times)

Fascinating read: The Afterlife Of A Ballerina. (Elle)

And for your viewing pleasure…

73 Questions with Emma Stone

(I am IN LOVE with her Vogue cover. Probably because stripes.)

Tom Cruise Acts Out His Film Career

James Corden brings out the fun in everyone.

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Thanksgiving

by Nadine on October 20, 2016

Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest film ever made.

Starring: Ursula and her cousin Joshua
Directed by: Uncle David

Thanksgiving from Airfoil Media on Vimeo.

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Covered” by Clare Elsaesser

I dream a lot — specifically when I nap. The dreams never make sense, and usually don’t stick with me for long, but I always wake up invested in some bizarre little story crafted by my subconscious.

I’ve woken up swooning over Nick Carter, made at U2, and horrified that I forget to feed my dog…ever.

Note: I’ve never had a crush on Nick Carter, have never been in a fight with Bono, and have never owned a dog. But the guilt over the last one was very real. Ruined my day. 

Yesterday’s nap-dream tops them all. Because I WOKE UP LAUGHING.

I was in a band. At some sort of conference. You know, one of those conference bands made up of members who just met each other.

Anyways, there was a teenage girl in this band with me. And because it’s almost Halloween, she wanted her stage name to be Uranus. This made sense.

And in my dream, I kept accidentally calling her Psoriasis.

I woke up giggling. I couldn’t stop. Matthew, who had been napping next to me — we enforced a mandatory family nap time because our toddler is in “I hate sleeping at night” mode and we needed to recover from the night before — looked at me like I had lost my mind. My explanation didn’t help:

“There’s this girl in my band, Uranus. But I keep calling her Psoriasis.”

And I couldn’t stop laughing while I told him this.

Off. My. Rocker.

Sleep-deprivation has affected my dream life. I’m losin’ it, folks.

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Weekend Reading Vol. 2: All About Me

by Nadine on October 15, 2016

This week’s links feature an article that mentions me (!), the shirts I wear, and where my head is at, politically. American friends, please vote well.

Name that movie*:

“You get your picture in the papes, you’re famous. You’re famous, you get anything you want. That’s what’s so great about New York.”

Ursula and I were featured in the Globe and Mail! (Um, last week. I’m a little slow here.)

I would like to thank the photographer for not using the photo of Ursula standing on her chair. She’s a (cute) handful, that one.

Other things to read:

The 33 Best Rom-Coms of All Time. I approve of Clueless’ spot on the list. Side note: I saw the new Bridget Jones flick. Anything co-written by Emma Thompson gets my stamp of approval. (Thrillist)

The Evolution of the Striped Shirt Trend (& One of the Key Brands Behind It). Oh, stripes. How I love thee. (Refinery29)

And because we can’t avoid American politics…these articles best sum up how I feel about the whole mess. The fact that some prominent Christian leaders remain supportive of Trump makes my heart hurt.

Voting For Hillary Is Not Voting For Abortion. (GungorMusic.com)

Related: White, Conservative, Christian Friends — I Wish You Really Were Pro-Life. This is where the phrase “all lives matter” is appropriate. You shouldn’t call yourself pro-life if you don’t care about people after they’re born. (Huffington Post)

Speak Truth To Trump. I applaud the editor for attacking the “strategic” vote. (Christianity Today)

“But there is a point at which strategy becomes its own form of idolatry—an attempt to manipulate the levers of history in favor of the causes we support. Strategy becomes idolatry, for ancient Israel and for us today, when we make alliances with those who seem to offer strength—the chariots of Egypt, the vassal kings of Rome—at the expense of our dependence on God who judges all nations, and in defiance of God’s manifest concern for the stranger, the widow, the orphan, and the oppressed. Strategy becomes idolatry when we betray our deepest values in pursuit of earthly influence. And because such strategy requires capitulating to idols and princes and denying the true God, it ultimately always fails.”

Sigh. Sorry to end on such a doozy. So here’s a family of bears eating in an apple tree together. You’re welcome.

*If you didn’t know it was Newsies, GO WATCH NEWSIES. That is all.

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