Three Great Grape Things

by Nadine on April 2, 2016

Photograph: Raceytay’s etsy shop

For me, the perfect day must include three things: grapes, raisins and wine.

I’m easy to please.

On these perfect days, I physically consume almost every possibility, every potential life trajectory of the grape. It’s like…eating an entire Choose Your Own Adventure novel. Should’ve named my daughter Merlot or Syrah, that’s how much I love the grape.

My best friend Audrey understands.

She even has her own vineyard! An automatic friendship-qualifier.

Turtlenecks are in again. I predicted this two years ago. I also predicted the overalls resurgence. I’m sartorially clairvoyant.

She bakes raisin bran muffins! (Proof: her recipe.) I had Raisin Bran this morning! See?! BFFs.

How to end a day well: a glass of wine and a flawless updo. #hairgoals

We really should get together soon to gossip about Gregory Peck and striped shirts over a drink or two. It’s been too long.

(And, yes, you can gossip about shirts: “I saw a shirt today with a solid back, can you imagine? What’s the point of a stripe if it doesn’t go all the way around? Embarrassing. And don’t get me started on the white-stripe count. Pour me another glass, Audrey. I’m getting worked up over faux-bretons again.”)

P.S. My other fake best friend, Amy Grant, wrote a song about grapes….

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